No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
