bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
