when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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