Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
