I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
