But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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