Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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