Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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