is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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