Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize