I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
