do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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