it wasn't lemon gatorade
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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