We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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