i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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