Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
