You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
