I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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