I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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