Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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