I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just want nice things and good sex
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
