3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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