Porn is love you can see.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
