I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
