what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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