I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
So much Jack, so little girl.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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