i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Can I color on your dick again?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
