It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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