remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
