I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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