the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
