drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
