she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
