if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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