Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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