That's when you crack a 10am beer
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
