Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I feel like abortions should bother me more
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
