I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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