And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
this just has baby written all over it
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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