Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
