I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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