the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize