Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
