Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
