Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize