i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
