im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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