shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
