That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
