we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
