So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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