It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
