Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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