i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
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