...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
