he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
