you win again, gameday.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
