physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
